Caution! PBA May be Harmful to your health! I often refer to the world of wine as "the land of the blind," and to complete the quotation, "where the one-eyed man is king." By this, I mean that those who possess a little bit of wine knowledge often set themselves up as wine "experts" or "gurus," eager and willing to offer advice to those that are less insightful than they.

Now, if this is a sin, it's a sin of pride one that most can easily understand. Who among us has not been pleased by access to a rarefied level of knowledge or insight, and then bragged on it?

This behavior probably pre-dates kindergarten - for some it remains a stable of adult behavior. While often tedious, it's seldom harmful. We can usually spot the braggart and the holes in their narrative easily.

In my business - the wine business - I find it more than just tedious, but potentially harmful. One of the illnesses that we confront daily is the dreaded FEAR OF WINE! We've become adept at spotting the symptoms. A furtive creeping through the shelves, an unwillingness to ask for assistance or directions (usually exhibited by men), or sorrowful explanations of ignorance (a common trait of women wine shoppers).

While some level of FEAR may be understandable - there really are a whole lot of different wines out there - we find that Previous Bad Advice (PBA) often inflames the symptoms. PBA is usually spread by brothers-in-law who once went to Napa, sons-in-law who waited tables one summer, and co-workers who subscribe to lifestyle magazines.

This commonplace and easily treatable virus is a nuisance, but seldom life threatening. Ignoring the carrier is still the best remedy. A far more harmful strain of PBA is being spread by "wine writers." These carriers are much, much harder to ignore, as they are seemingly reproducing at bunny-like rates, and the mainstream media have adopted many.

Usually bored lawyers, untenured professors, post-graduate English majors or failed food and travel writers, they've discovered that anointing themselves as wine writers is a quick and easy way to a forum, a free meal, and perhaps most importantly, free wine for life! These wine writers are akin to non-meteorologist TV weathermen; both stand in front of blank screens gesturing wildly about trends and conditions that they barely understand, completely aware that their predictions have no bearing on reality, but blissfully unaware that their bloated and undeserved reputation is due to the medium, not the message. TV, newspapers, or radio confer expertise upon them, not study, learning, travel, or even comparative tasting.

PBA insidiously spread by wine writers can have long-term repercussions and side affects. Since many wine writers depend upon free samples from distributors, importers and wineries, the consumer gets a fairly narrow view of the wine world.

While undoubtedly many distributors offer only their best and most value-driven products, some unscrupulous ones surely offer failed, dated and inferior wines for the wine writer to review. This practice is curious, to say the least, as any wine purchased would be fully tax-deductible and wine-writers do get paid. I don't understand why they line up for free goods. Surely they understand the inherent conflict this poses? Hmm, is it that PBA may cause the carrier to lose an understanding of basic ethical practices?

The real risk is that the consumer, plied with misinformation, gratuitous and superfluous descriptions, incomprehensible "scores," flawed advice, and oblivious opinions, retreats from wine. In this case, PBA, causes the consumer to think that they couldn't possibly understand wine, that their own sense of taste and value is at best, misguided and at worst, culturally infantile.

The consumer then becomes hopelessly dependent upon the "wine-writer," completely unable to order effectively in a restaurant, always overpaying for flawed vintages and living miserably and desperately by the mailbox, waiting for the next issue of The Wine Rag. A sad existence indeed!

The only known cure? Trust yourself, and repeat the following mantra: "If it tastes good, it is good! If it tastes good, it is good!" If it tastes good, it is good!"



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