Baltimore Eats - BEHING THE STICK

My inspiration for this column is the insanity I have been through this past month or so. I was in Orlando, FL training the staff for the opening of a new store for three weeks and at the same time moving myself, my wife and daughter, two cars, one dog and three cats to our new home. Also, I almost forgot about the deadline for this article -all Time, and Sense of Time having been lost... Now, amidst all of the unpacking, I have to find and re-pack things so that I can go to Denver, CO to train that new store for two weeks. So let's say that it has been pretty crazy. And, on that thought, let's do: Crazy/Funky Cocktails!

Cocktails can be crazy/funky due to the ingredients involved, the name of the cocktail (generally with a story behind it) or both. I remember one of my first weird experiences with a cocktail (Mind you I am not counting all of the things I drank in college, some I remember, most I care not to!) was when I was working a local restaurant in Dundalk. A gentleman asked for a "Black and White." I had no idea what this was. He proceeded to tell me that it is Johnny Walker Black and cream over ice. And so it began. I found out later that this was a drink for people with ulcers. It allowed them to drink without inflaming their ulcer as much. (I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS!)

Over the years I have encountered many others: The Cement Mixer, the Kevin Davis Espresso (a personal joke), the Bar Mat Shooter (Yes people really do this!), the Stop-Light, Warm Rotgut Gin, the Original Prairie Fire, Liquid Cocaine, So-Co and Lime (I had a bad night with that one!), the list goes on... Over the generations drinking styles and habits have changed. There was a time when you actually ordered a "vodka tonic" or a "rum and coke" instead of calling from one of a thousand brands, people actually bought sours mix (and I hear they still do), "Martinis" used to be made with gin and dry vermouth, Baltimore used to be "a drinking town with a baseball problem," and wine goes great with crabs (What does THAT mean?).

Sorry . . . I tend to rant at times (Or as my wife would say "What the hell are you talking about?"). So all that being said, I would like to pick a few cocktails that may be considered crazy or funky but actually have some merit for past, current and future generations.

HAWAIIAN PUNCH
A drink from the eighties that tastes exactly like the punch we drank as children. Kind of scary.
1 oz. each of Amaretto and Southern Comfort
Fill the rest with orange juice and pineapple juice
Splash of grenadine*
Shake over ice and serve as a highball

ICE PICK (circa 1945)
A great drink for the heat. Not a crazy cocktail, but I would like to think that the name comes from when ice picks were actually used to perform lobotomy's (in very small circles mind you)
2 oz of your preferred vodka
Fill with iced tea (sweetened or unsweetened)
I like orange vodka, 2 muddled orange wedges and unsweetened iced tea.

MONKEY GLAND (circa 1923)
A very interesting mix of ingredients that make an extremely balanced cocktail. The name is derived from experiments that used monkey glands for male "rejuvenation."
1 oz. Gin
1 oz. Fresh Orange juice
1 dash Pernod
1 dash Grenadine*
Build over ice, shake and strain into martini glass. No garnish.

SALSATINI
This is one I came up with when I was playing around with some rum that I infused with fresh pineapple.
Small bunch of cilantro
Half teaspoon of chopped jalapeno (this may vary dependant upon heat)
1/2 oz. fresh lime juice
1 oz. Pineapple infused rum (you can buy this, but you may have to add a couple cubes of chopped pineapple)
Dash of pineapple juice
Muddle cilantro, jalapeno, lime juice and pineapple (if using). Add rest of ingredients, shake and strain into a martini glass. Cilantro sprig garnish.

SAZERAC (circa 1850)
Created in New Orleans. Although a complex cocktail, when made correctly, it is just beautiful.
Ice down a rocks glass
In a pint glass add 2 dashes each Angostura and Peychaud bitters (your better liquor stores will carry the Peychaud Bitters) add splash of simple syrup and 2 oz. Rye whiskey.
Throw away ice in rocks glass and "coat" glass with Pernod (Absinthe was originally used) and discard.
Shake ingredients in pint glass and strain into the chilled rocks glass - no ice - garnish with a lemon twist.

*Grenadine USED to be made with real pomegranates and real grenadine is real easy to make. Take equal amounts of POM and sugar and boil until sugar dissolves to make a light syrup. Let cool and store in a squeeze bottle. Should last for about two weeks. Great for when you have a cocktail party at your house!

Have a great 4th!! Cheers!